I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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