Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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