Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
