drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
