did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
