so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
