Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
