first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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