I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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