Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
