My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
