Welp...herpes.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
