Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
