Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
