I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
