Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
