If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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