whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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