Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
