She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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