He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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