happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
