We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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