I wish I could teleport
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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