i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
