Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize