I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
