Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
