My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
