Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
