You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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