I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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