You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
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Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
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I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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