I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
