I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
