'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
