you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize