Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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