Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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