i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
