My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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