Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
