I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
