Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
