At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
