my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
