Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You were trust falling into bushes
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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