I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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