yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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