So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
