Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so let's talk penis.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
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