just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
