It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
