Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize