Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
