then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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